I know I said this last week, but I can’t believe it has been TWO weeks since my life forever changed. It’s been quite a challenge trying to intake enough water and protein for the day. 64 oz of fluid does not seem like a lot, but when you are only allotted 1oz every 10-15 minutes, the challenge becomes imminent and after two weeks, I am still not consuming 64 ounces a day. Each day I get slightly closer.
I went back to work this week for 3 days. It was so nice having something to do for a change and be productive. The guys at work have been really great. They all sent me individual emails last week making sure I was okay and they have been really nice and helpful since I have been back. It’s such a weird feeling not stressing from your job, not dreading walking in. I have been very blessed in the position I landed. I do wish I was paid a little more (who doesn’t feel that way!) or if I had more hours. For right now, I am happy and I think this schedule will work out great in the skinny future for I have lots of plans!
And now…. It’s time for “What I Learned This Week”…..
Sleeping in your own bed after a week and a half, on your side, for merely a couple hours feels like you are on a cloud hovering over an Enya concert with little fairies massaging your muscles.
Going for a drive, and feeling the wind rush in the car feels amazing.
Throwing up is still the worst feeling in the world. (I know we covered this, but after almost 2 weeks of it not happening, the feelings come rushing back to you). Not pleasant and a little frightening.
During week 2, boredom really starts to sit in. Now you are able to be more mobile and the pain is slowly subsiding. Now you are left on the couch watching 3 hours of Rosanne every day and channel flipping the rest of the day watching the same shit, all day, every day. It’s important to find something to do that you enjoy. Read a book, write, shit I would almost be happy with a coloring book at this point!
Besides the nausea, the worst feeling in the world (this week) is feeling parched and not being able to chug water anymore. Chugging 1 oz doesn’t do shit and worse still is that now you have to wait 10-15 minutes to be able to do it again. It can be a very defeating feeling. Rest assured, that after the 2nd or 3rd oz, you start feeling better.
As the pain starts to subside and you are feeling better, reality starts to set in. You just had a major surgery. This is permanent. There is no turning back. You can’t put the stomach back in. These realizations can do a number on your psyche for a while. Every diet you have done in the past, you have had cheat days, cheat meals, cheat snacks, etc., but now you can’t. If you even cheat once, you can do physical harm to yourself or create a problem. You can end up in the hospital or go back to the throwing up (see above…not…..pleasant)
Along with the bullet above, you will have moments of weakness where you desperately want food. (I wonder where you would get that idea since there are no references on television, movies, commercials, advertisements, people’s conversations, walking outside, smelling from your apartment….crazy) You can be doing fine and then walk into the kitchen to get your next 5 ounces of Isopure (mmm…Apple Melon for dinner!) and you smell garlic and onions and in a split second, you are in tears and you don’t know why. Well you do know why, you want to eat whatever is on the stove. This is normal, it will happen, let it happen and get it out of your system so you can move on. It doesn’t last long which is good.
Week 2, because of the realizations and negative feelings, it’s important to remind yourself of why you did this to begin with. I made a vision board of all the things I couldn’t do as a fluff ball and/or things I’ve never done but always wanted to. As my life progresses and I start accomplishing my goals, I will replace the generic picture with one of my own. Looking at those pictures now is what motivates me to continue. Maybe hang up a pair of pants a few sizes smaller so you can visualize yourself in them.
Those negative feeling you had all week go away the minute you step on the scale because let me tell you. In 14 days, I have lost 27 pounds and that is unreal! I am 10 pounds away from saying goodbye to the 300’s and hello 200’s.
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