It’s definitely a challenge to get into the spirit of Christmas when every single person I have spoken to in the last couple weeks is depressed about something, bitching about something, having a pity party of some kind. As of this blog, I can say that this is not an exaggeration, I literally mean…every…single….person… I have talked to is bitching about something, complaining that life sucks, has a problem, has a crisis, financial worries, family drama, woe is me, job sucks, partner sucks, vanity issues, I will never get out of this, we will never overcome, I just wanna get through the day, etc… etc…. etc…. etc… etc..
I try to keep everyone motivated, pump them up, offer ideas on how to make it better, but I am given excuse after excuse after excuse as to why they can’t or won’t do that… maybe its pride, maybe its laziness, maybe it’s that they just want to continue feeling sorry for themselves at this moment. Right now I am afraid to pick up the phone and contact ANYONE because if I utter the words “What’s up?” “How you doin?” “What’s going on?” I am giving an overabundance of sentences as to why I should feel sorry for them, pity them and in return I offer words of encouragement, say “I’m sorry” a hundred times knowing there is nothing I can do. I offer a shoulder to cry on, a venting forum and by the time the conversation is over, they know nothing about what’s going on with me, how I am doing, how life is for me. My energy is spent, I am drained, I feel useless and now I am getting depressed when I had woken up in a great mood.
I am not diminishing anyone’s problems. I am not saying that these problems are worth ignoring. I am not implying that your issues are not big issues. What I am trying to say is I am not just a plot of land you can pull up and dump your waste on and then drive away. You are welcome to dump your waste here as long as you take something back to recycle with, to reuse for a good purpose or somehow give back.
I am in a predicament just like all of you. I have issues just like all of you. I have job issues, I have family issues, I have friend issues, I have money issues, I have home issues, I have vanity issues, I have partner issues, I have self issues but you don’t hear me bitch about it 24-7. I stay positive and I made the choice to ride through the storm by making little changes here and there that will have long term positive effects. I wake up in the morning knowing that it is a new day. It is a clean slate to make good shit happen. It’s a new day of healing old wounds. It’s a new day, brand new experiences, brand new attitude, I wake up flawless every morning.
I…wake….up…flawless….every…morning!! Do you hear that!! FLAWLESS!! It’s up to you if you want to keep it that way. Everyone I talk to lately wakes up faltered and deteriorates through the day and goes to bed defeated and empty.
The bottom line is I love all my family and friends, but it’s getting to the point where I have become non existent, invisible or only acknowledged when there is something needed from me or help from me. I have been the constant recipient of hostility and misdirected anger and I am tired of it. I’m tired of you being the victim so you better start standing up and becoming a survivor or don’t ask me to listen anymore.
I deserve respect. I deserve love. I deserve a conversation outside of your problems. I don’t want to talk about problems 24-7. I want to talk about plans of action, how to come out of this. How to make the finances appear, how to bring the family together, how to see the positive side. How to overcome obstacles big or small. How to take control of your life!!
Every pity day spent is a life day gone forever. You can’t get it back. There is no rewind. There is no do-over.
This is the time of year when we think of others beyond ourselves, we do things for other people even if we have little to give, we remember to take in a breath of fresh air and be thankful that we are alive, that we are blessed with family and friends who love us. Don’t shut everyone out so you can feel sorry for yourself. Everyone needs a hand right now, instead of taking them all, give some out. Offer an ear to someone else going through a rough time. Call a family member or friend you haven’t talked to in a long time and chat. Read that book you have been putting off. Bring your child to the park and play catch with them. Say hello with a good tone in your voice, even if you don’t think its true right now, you will be surprised how different your attitude will be. Call your parent and tell them you love them. Go on a date with your partner because you haven’t in a long time. Instead of fighting with your partner, work together. Instead of misdirecting anger at a loved one, give them a hug. And instead of feeling sorry for yourselves, do something nice for someone less fortunate than you to remind yourself of the blessings in your life and in your heart.
I hope you guys utilize this during this Holiday season. I wish you all a happy and safe holiday. Remember the moments greatly. One day they will be gone and all you have are mental images. Don’t life with regrets.
I love you guys and I will always be here for you in any way that I can. All I ask is for it to not be taken for granted and to be reciprocated from time to time.
Wake up tomorrow FLAWLESS!!