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The struggle is real....

Have you ever struggled with the communication between your mind and your body? Like your mind looks at something and says, "Yeah, I can totally do that." and then your body is a Debbie Downer and says, "No, I'm not going to do that." The body resists every attempt at your positivity and just keeps swatting you away. The body is very stubborn but the brain is equally stubborn so you find yourself in this seesaw power struggle of who will come out the victor?

Please tell me I am not the only one...

It's been over a month now since my back completely went out and I am happy to report that we are far better now than we were a month ago, but some days it feels like it's not enough progress. I am feeling so frustrated and impatient because in my head, I can do everything I was doing before and even more, but the fear of tweaking it worse is obviously holding me back.

At what point is it cautiously healing and and what point does it become an excuse to not push yourself?

That's the phase I am in right now. I know my stubbornness can lead to more harm which is why I am doing what I am told and easing into things slowly. But then some days I feel like a little bitch who is just making excuses to not get up and push it a little further.

Everyones opinion is different. You need to ice it, no don't ice it. You need heat, no you don't need heat. You need to stretch this way, no that could make it worse.

It's like the shit I dealt with with Weightloss. Everyone had a different opinion about what was best that vastly contradicted with what someone else said.

Now, with weight loss, I am a big advocate of trial and error and find what works best for you in your circumstances, lifestyles and abilities.

When it comes to this, I believe in the same motto, but I don't know yet what the answer is and that is where I get frustrated. When I had the surgery, I had a specific plan. Eat this on this day, eat this on week 2, don't do this, must do this and every day I conquered that shit, followed it to a T and got the results I wanted.

When I did the 75 Hard and the phases, it was do this exact routine everyday for 75 days, and then 30 days and you will see results. So what did I do? I did that shit religiously everyday and you know what? I got results I wanted and I was finding myself kicking major Bad-Assery.

When it comes to the back, I am frustrated cuz there is no set plan. I see the Chiro 3x a week and each visit, its the exact same thing. It doesn't feel like progression. He wouldn't give me a single stretch for the first couple weeks and I finally told him, "Look, you don't know me but you will get to know me over the next couple months. I am stubborn as shit and I am going to get impatient and start doin shit, so you might as well give me the proper stretches to do so at least I won't hurt myself." He laughed and gave me 1 stretch. I did it religiously every day but I felt stagnant, it wasn't progressing, so I found another stretch and started adding that. Week 2, he gave me a new stretch and it was ironically the one I was already starting on my own. Same thing happened the following week.

The POSITVE thing is I finally went back to the gym 3x now in the last week and a half and working with my trainer, we are rebuilding the legs and lower back slowly. It feels like I am a novice on Jan 1 alllll over and some days it brings me down. Most days, I have a positive attitude in that this time around, I am strengthening everything from in the inside out and going to come out of this stronger.

But I hate that there is no specific date to focus on. I just wish I could be told, "If you do this, this and this every day for 3o days, the pain will be gone." I would rock the smurf out of that shit and do what I needed to do.

But until then we keep adapting and keep progressing with the tools we have in front of us and I am crossing those fingers, toes and eyes that by the end of this year, this chapter will be completely over and I will be conquering NSV's never attempted before!

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