“Fear not, for the sufferings of today could never be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
I was born in a catholic world, but I am not practicing today. I am not a religious person and my beliefs in the so-called structured life of organized religion will not be delved into at this time because frankly I don’t have time to go into details of my opinions let along piss anyone off on the first blog I write.
With that said, you may wonder why I chose a biblical reference for my first post. Well, its simple. Years ago when I was battling depression in a time of my life where I was at rock bottom, I had a small orange hand-held bible that belonged to a friend of mine. I took it. “Thou shall not steal” I thought, but I figured, hell it can’t get much worse than this right now can it? I wanted to look up something random that might help my current situation, and though I was not religious, I was willing to welcome in anything that I could get. There were so many “gospels” to sort through, so I chose Romans because I was Italian and I felt it would fit. I chose 8:18 because it was my birthday, but I was not expecting to find anything useful in the combination of those three. I was pretty surprised that this was the line presented to me. There are the typical cliches like “When one door closes”, or “when you are dealt lemons” or simply “things are bound to get better”, but what struck me about Romans was that it mentioned suffering. At that moment, I felt emotionally, mentally and spiritually I was suffering and this line was some how telling me that when this passes and it pays off, its going to pay off big. I had understood the whole “without suffering there would be no compassion” bullshit that I had been fed before but that doesn’t help the situation. What this line told me was whether the issue was small there was more good to come out and when the shit hit the fan and the suffering was great, the future was equally and greatly brighter in the future. It was hard to fathom but looking back now to 6 months ago, the line sure did manifest itself nicely. I went from a lonely, scared, and crippled heart, no car, no job and little to no friends to having my dream car, my own place sharing with a fiancee and a good paying job (though the job itself was definitely suffocating me).
I think back to Romans now because a part of me feels at the bottom of the barrel. Like everyone else, I have been hit with the financial meltdown of western civilization in what I truly believe is the great depression of the 2000’s. I was let go from my job the Monday after Thanksgiving which is a true testament of my former boss’ morals and character. I will spare you the 2 years of stories. My fiancee and I have so much love and support for each other and finances have hit us like a hurricane. If something doesn’t give soon, we are looking at losing everything we worked hard for until now.
I decided to start a blog today because I went to the doctor yesterday to get a check up on the sprained foot Ive had for the last 6 weeks after falling at Pavilions. (Long story) While I was there, the doctor informed me that my blood pressure was very high and she wanted me on medication right away. I am the kind of person that doesn’t even take Tylenol or anything and here I was today popping pills for blood pressure and an anti-inflamatory for my lower back. Today is my rock bottom and as I went to the market to spend $40 on frozen dinners and mac n cheese, I almost wanted to cry at the pathetic sight I must’ve been. After dinner, I decided to start this blog as a forum for those who are going through what I am going though, can relate, or offer suggestions. I will allow today to be my rock bottom. I want these sufferings to be overcome by greatness and I want to track the success and happiness in front of me. I also want to hear your stories of hardship and pain as well as how you overcame your obstacles. We don’t have to be alone in this. We can all work together. No issue is moot, no issue is too little or too hard to break. Thanks for listening and I look forward to many more blogs very soon.