For over 20 years i wished daily that I could be smaller. Every birthday candle wish, shooting star, lucky charm, etc was spent wishing on the same thing, That I would have energy to do things and that I liked how I looked. I was tired of always hearing, "You have a pretty face, but if you lost weight....." I was tired of the "You look like you have lost some weight" comments when you know damn well they were just trying to be nice and lift your spirits because the reality was you were likely bigger than the last time they saw you.
Every wedding or social event I went to, there was dancing. I wanted so badly to dance and I sat on the sidelines and moved my body around to the beat. I didn't want to get up there and have people watching me with their whispers or judgement. I didn't want to be in pain as the back and knees would be excruciating at the end of the day from just normal walking. I wanted to shake my booty to Pitbull, I wanted to Cha Cha, I wanted to glide across the floor in a waltz like Fred and Ginger.
But for all those years, it was always a pipe dream as every new weight loss attempt would fail, the discouragement piled up along with extra pounds year after year. I struggled for so long and nothing would work. It was unfathomable of me for years to even think about having surgery but when I finally looked into bariatric, everything changed and that one decision has forever changed my life.
We all have different reasons for weight loss, different methods, and different motivations. What worked for me may not be the best for you. I had dozens of people over the years tell me to do what they were doing because it worked and then I would jump on that bandwagon and it didn't work for me. Then there is the stigma that I was cheating, not doing it right or being lazy with it. What we don't always realize is that our bodies are all different, how we respond is different and results will be different. The important thing is to find what works for you and DO NOT compare yourself to anyone else because we are all different. There are too many variables in why things work and don't for everyone so there is no cure all for this. This is why there is so many things out there for this specific industry, it just means there's something for everyone but not one thing for everyone.
I started doing what worked for me and stayed consistent with it. I put everything into focusing on myself and my personal goals. That in itself was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I felt it was too selfish of me to focus on me when I spent so long doing what was best for everyone else.
5 1/2 years later now, I lost a whole person. My past.
I let go of people and things that weighed me down, or prevented me from being the best version of myself so that today I can slay daily! It is not selfish to work on yourself and make yourself a priority. No one can live this life for you. No one can control you. If you want to be there for others and help others, do that, but make sure YOU are in a good place first because you are no good to anyone else if you aren't good to yourself.
Be selfish today. It's about damn time!
Happy Tuesday fellow Slayers! Shall we dance?
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